So I had to have an ultrasound this afternoon to see if I have more kidney stones. While my midsection was covered in gel I started talking to the ultrasound tech. AS ONE DOES.
Me: "Best and worst ultrasounds?"
Her: ...?
Me: "Like best would be ultrasounds of babies -- everybody's all excited and happy, 'Is it a boy or a girl?' That kind of thing."
Her: "Unless there's some kind of defect. That's always awful."
Me: "So babies are like the best AND the worst."
Her: "Livers."
Me: ...?
Her: "Livers are the best. It's really fun to see the blood flow through a liver. So interesting. I like doing livers."
Me: "Huh. I would never have--"
Her: "Hold your breath. Hrm." *presses me hard in the kidney with the transducer* *lots of beeps as she saves a bunch of images* "Balls."
Me: ...!
Her: "Er. Scrotums. They're the worst. NOT from our end, because it's just another body part to us. But--"
Me: *turning a little blue*
Her: "--it's just. Oh, you can go ahead and breathe now. Breathe whenever you need to."
Me: *takes a deep breath* "So the worst is..."
Her: "Yeah." *shrugs* "Nobody likes having that done."